Daily Practices (Avodahs / Kabbalot)

The daily practice suggestions are listed in alphabetical order. They include: Abstinence/separation, anger, equanimity, generosity, gratitude, humility, joy, modesty/tzniyut, order, patience, recognizing good, respect, silence, simcha, soft-hearted/courage, trust, watchfulness/carefulness, wealth, yirah, zeal/joyful willpower.

Abstinence / Separation

1. Decide where you tend to over-indulge with something that is permitted by Torah law (only pick one thing, and make it small so that you have a better chance of success). Too much popcorn at the movies? Buying one too many pairs of shoes? Checking email or the news too many times a day. Then determine what sort of boundary you could create to force a separation between you and the activity. The goal is to increase the level of sanctity in your life. Over the course of the week, when faced with crossing the boundary, ask yourself “will crossing the boundary draw me closer to G-d or distance me from G-d”?
2. Following on from the last practice, assume that you will make a mistake by crossing the boundary that you set. What consequence and teshuva process will you put in place to help round out the practice?

Anger

1. This week’s practice is noticing anger. Throughout the day, notice when you become angry. If you are near a charity box (pushka), then drop a coin in the box for each instance. If you choose not to be so punitive, then wear a wristband. Every time you become irritated, frustrated or angry, move the wristband to the other wrist. See how many times a day you move the band back and forth or see how much charity you give in a single day.
2. Each morning before starting your day say out loud “I wish to honour everyone I see, talk to or email today and therefore will try to not express any anger towards anyone”. Then in the evening note in your journal what you may have learned.

Equanimity

1. Each morning, tell yourself that you are clearing out the clutter of your mind and then sit quietly taking a few breaths. As you breathe out, imagine an erasing of your over-crowded blackboard. Or, imagine filling your mind with so much light that the light clears out the clutter. At the end of the series of breaths, affirm out loud “I will strive to maintain my equilibrium whether bad or good things come my way”.
2. If you can’t change the storm of your life, then weather it calmly and use the time to think about other things of more importance. Pick something that will act as a temporary distraction for you, perhaps a line of Torah that you memorize. Or a 20 second summary of a goal you have. Then when something knocks you off your equilibrium, side-step the event and go to your line of Torah or goal until the storm passes.

Generosity

1. Deliberately and consciously do something generous? Plan it in advance and just prior to the act, visualize your heart opening a little more? As you do the act remain present and in touch with how you feel? Is there more of a you/G-d connection (however that may manifest for you), more of a you/other person connection? As you complete the act, does the degree to which your heart is open feel in any way different than before the act?
2. Within the next 12 hours do something generous for a friend or neighbour that takes you out of your regular way. Can you do it with a good heart (see Pirkei Avot 2:13). Then write in your journal or on a blog on madrega.com, what your experience was like.

Gratitude

1. Building up and then maintaining gratitude takes time. Stop once a day, every day and reflect on something at that moment that you recognize as good. Then ascribe the goodness to G-d by saying out loud that it is good. At the end of the day, note in either your Cheshbon HaNefesh chart or in your own journal whether you found the time that day to stop and acknowledge gratitude for HaShem.
2. Look at one event and tap into gratitude for that event (which requires saying out loud why you are grateful). Then, take the same event and consider all the events that led up to that moment and imagine where that moment may lead you in the future. Once you have a chain of events in mind, generate gratitude for all people and circumstances within the entire chain. Write those recognitions in a journal and compare the single moment of gratitude and the entire chain of gratitude.

Humility

1. One way that I propose we practice the refinement of humility around respect for subordinates (fellow workers, cashiers at stores, our kids, etc.) is through speech. It says in the Talmud “one should always speak softly to people” (Yoma 86a). A raised voice helps puff up the ego and distance us from others. Watch carefully when you speak to someone who is in a subordinate position to you (e.g. cashier, child, fellow worker). Do you speak in a way that shows the most honour you could? Are you soft with your voice? Are you a little all-knowing, prideful, arrogant? Focus on the same person each day for one week. Each evening, think back to how much honour you gave that person by respecting their place and your own. Note any learnings in your journal.
2. Plan in advance to do one act this coming week that increases someone else's dignity (and therefore your own humility). Execute the plan within one week and journal what you experience in the planning, the act and the after affects.

Joy

1. Meditate on and say the words Baruch ata Adonai, very slowly. Use one breath for each word; use all of your breath on each word; as you inhale, know that you are taking in, and preparing to spread, the joy of renewed understanding and purpose. Then, go and attend to the daily tasks that await you. Have they taken on a new dimension?
2. Each day for a week, look for a time when you feel good from something the physical world has presented you. At that moment tell yourself that this is a gift from G-d and say out loud “Thank you”. If this week proves to be a difficult week filled with challenges, then when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders say to yourself “Don’t tell G-d about how big your troubles are, tell your troubles about how big G-d is”.

Modesty

1. Find a quiet place this week where you can speak out loud without being heard by others. Then remember a situation where you feel you or another was wronged (e.g. being stopped by the police while driving and given a ticket). Talk through the scenario and how you judge the situation. Then try to add more perspective to the story by viewing the “bad” person with a little more dignity. How would your narrative now change if you are more careful with your words? And how does that change your inner feelings?
2. Think of any way in which your actions may be saying “look at me” as a way of bringing attention to you or something you have. Then imagine how you could reduce the attention you bring to yourself and how differently you might feel. Then go to the other extreme and imagine how you could accentuate how you draw attention to your self. From this exercise, think about whether you need more tzniyut (modesty/privacy) or less tzniyut in your life.

Order

1. To improve on issues such as a habitually messy desk, too many late appointments or simply forgetting too much, first build strength in a smaller area. Pick a time in the day, the same time every day, where you will do the same thing – whether it be a chant, or learning a line from a Torah book or something that will help you move to your goal of being a better person. Do the task every day for 40 days and then after you’ve created that habit, turn your attention to cleaning your desk etc. Tackling order in the difficult areas will be much easier if you have a small win under your belt.
2. Select two consecutive days and for the first day, plan your activities the night before. Make a written list of things to do and then see how best to sequence those things. Tell yourself that order will remove fear and that this is a way to draw closer to seeing G-d’s natural order. For the second day, don’t plan anything the night before, nor during the second day. Let the day unfold without planned order and see how you relate to G-d. Compare the two days to see if there were noticeable differences.

Patience

1. Focus on honouring a friend. Think of a friend who on occasion pushes your buttons. Then say out loud three good things that this person does. Also, try to see that when they speak or act in ways that cause you discomfort, that even though you disagree with those words or actions, you respect the person. And then hold your own discomfort with love and support internally without showing frustration or anger outwardly.
2. Think of someone who acted in a way today that irritated you. Think about how you responded in the moment. Then take a few minutes to think of three things you could have done differently that would have allowed you to carry your own burden and at the same time respect the other person. Imagine you did one of those things and then see if your feelings to the other person are different (e.g. more love, more compassion, more anger etc.).

Recognizing Good

1. Maintain this practice for two weeks. It should be easy and enjoyable. Think of one thing presently in your life that you value and see as good (not something that you hope to have in the future or that you no longer have). Write it down. The next day, think of something different and write it down. At the end of 14 days you will have a list of 14 unique things in your life that are good. Tape that list to a place in your home where you will see it every day for the remainder of the year.

Respect

1. This practice is to focus on a question and let it percolate over the course of the week. Rabbi Eliezer ben Azariyah said in Pirkei Avot 3:23, “If there is no Torah, there is no derech eretz. And if there is no derech eretz, there is no Torah. What do you think he meant by this statement.
2. The Rashbam learns from a midrash that we are obligated to knock on the door before entering our own home. This practice may seem a little strange to us in the 21st century Western World. How might we translate that obligation into another respectful action that we can show to others in our home? Look for an opportunity to go above and beyond to show someone close to you more respect than you normally show. Be deliberate.

Silence

1. Select one conversation each day for one week. Before you speak to another person, be silent and ask yourself “what benefit [do I think] my speech will bring me or others” (From Cheshbon HaNefesh by Rabbi Lefin). Then, after the conversation, write in your journal how it went and whether your pre-meditated thought, in the refuge of silence, resulted in more benefit than if you’d simply leapt into the conversation. To give yourself more time to plan, it may be easiest to choose a telephone call that you initiate, or some other time when you can control your lead-up time for silence.
2. Before you speak or act, take one extra deep breath and feel the energy down around your heart and down to your stomach. Can you detect any change in your level of inner peace? Do this each day for a week and see if the level of inner peace feels qualitatively different on Day 7 as compared to Day 1.

Simcha

1. Each morning chant/sing for a minute the second line from Psalm 100 in either English or Hebrew (ivdu et Hashem b’simcha, bo l’fanav birnana – serve G-d with joy, come before G-d with singing). Feel the joy each time you repeat the verse – and repeat it over and over again. Let the words and the thoughts behind the words permeate your entire being.
2. Return to the Hakarat Hatov (recognizing good) exercise with one slight change. Each day, three times a day, spaced at least one hour apart, look around you and pick one object or person. Check how your heart feels at that moment. Then, find something good in that person or object and as you do that see if there is a change to the way your heart connects to the person or object. Take a couple of breaths maintaining focus on your heart and feel the difference. If you don’t sense any change through this connection, don’t despair, keep doing the exercise and perhaps maintain it for more than a week until you feel some change.

Soft-Hearted / Courage

1. Select something that needs to be done this week and think about how you plan to do it. Now close your eyes and reflect on what it might look like if you were a little more daring. Then think about what it might look like if you had less courage. See which direction fits best for you in the situation you’ve chosen and then change your plan accordingly.
2. Think of someone in your life who does not have as much courage as perhaps you think they could have. Perhaps it’s someone who if you’re honest with yourself, you admit that you’ve taken advantage of. Now you have two options. The first option is to approach them and apologize and ask for forgiveness. The second is to close your eyes and visualize the same scene – namely you asking for forgiveness. Obviously one option shows more courage than the other.

Trust

1. Focus on not bragging and not complaining. If you notice yourself bragging or complaining, stop and say "thank you G-d for what I have" or "thank you G-d for what I don't have". Over the course of the week, monitor whether a change in attitude brings an increase in joy and a decrease in worry.
2. Commit to do one thing each day for a week that you are 100% convinced you can complete (pick something small or easy since you want to build a habit of success). Tell someone specifically what, how, when and where you are going to do this act. Then make sure you do it and make it clear to yourself and the other person that you kept your word.

Watchfulness / Carefulness

1. The following two exercises to match the two stages of watchfulness (zehirut) presented by the Ramchal in Path of the Just. First, build a knowledge base by picking any Torah-based book that you’ve read and open it to re-learn something short that you may have forgotten.
2. Second, think back over the last 24 hours to one thing that you did that isn’t useful to your spiritual progress (if you have trouble, think about any time you may have become frustrated or angry - this you'll probably find easy to do). Think about what positive act you could do that would counter the negative act should it come up again (again, if this is difficult, think about ways that you could boost your patience). Write it down so you don’t forget and review it each day so you're prepared for the next time it happens.
3. Take an action you do that isn’t useful to your spiritual development and ask your self what underlying trait contributes to your action. Is it a lack of a positive trait that needs to be boosted? Is it a negative trait that needs to be diminished? Then sit with what you’ve identified and go back to the question over the course of the week. Each day see if you have accurately identified the trait or if perhaps there is something else at play. Don’t be surprised if your trait identification changes over the course of the week as your heart and mind turn things over and over.

Wealth

1. Think of the last present you received. Think about the person who gave you the gift and spend 3 minutes increasing your gratitude for that person. Imagine how much effort that person went to in order to give it to you. Imagine now that Hashem presided over the entire process and lovingly made the process unfold.
2. This exercise is based on one created by Rabbi Avigdor Miller. This week if you write a cheque, write in the memo section of the cheque “thank you Hashem” because not only do you have enough in your bank account to cover the cheque, but you also see it as a way to build your righteousness. If you don’t write cheques but pay online for things, or use cash or debit cards then stop and thank Hashem out loud for having money in your wallet or in your bank account. Also reflect on how paying for the item in a dignified manner helps you build your righteousness.

Yirah

1. The Vilna Gaon talked of seeing the whole Universe within a single tree leaf. What he meant was that by looking deeply at the details of a leaf, he could visualize stepping back and seeing a much larger picture that connected the leaf to everything else. Connection is relationship. Stop once a day what you are doing, step back from the minutiae and see a larger picture. Think about how strong your relationship with yourself is, how strong your relationship with others are (perhaps pick only one person to make the task easier) and see how strong your relationship with G-d is. Then say out loud “I accept where I am and want to strengthen each relationship”.
2. Each day, stop for a few minutes and think of one relationship that you have and cherish. Then close your eyes and imagine you doing something that would jeopardize that relationship. How do you feel? Now imagine doing something that will elevate your relationship to a new height. How does that feel?

Zeal (Joyful Willpower)

1. Think of an act each day that isn’t part of your regular course of action (e.g. calling a parent more often, saying a blessing after eating, getting to work five minutes early). Before you do the act, ask yourself, is there more energy you could apply to that action – more joy that you could bring to the situation? Then, each night, reflect back on how you felt. Did injecting more energy into the act increase or decrease your joy? Was HaShem more present for you?
2. Select a task that you want to do this week. Think about what is required to begin and complete the task. Then think of one person who will be involved in some way with you performing the task (not the recipient of what you are doing). While doing the task, how can you also honour the needs of this other person?